self evaluation

1. What score do you think you deserve?

I think I can got 1 points. My body paragraphs are not logical more than I expected.

2. What did you do well?

I think I chose my resolution well. My resolution was interesting for me and I can find lots of resources that fits for my resolution.

3. What could you have done better?

I think I should find more resources. My resolution has lots of resources, however I think first draft's resources were insufficient more than I expected.

4. Which part of classical argument did you use the best? 

I think I was good at writing Introduction. I think my introduction is attractive to audience who saw my first draft.

5. Which part of classical argument did you use more poorly?

I think that I should wirte more reasons about my resolution. My body paragraph is not much logical and it's not persuasive to audience. Also, my refutation and concession is very weak. I think opponents are not be persuaded about my reasons.

6. What's your strategy to make your second draft better?

I should find more resources to supply my body paragraphs, and I should write my body paragraphs more logical. If these things are done, my second draft will be more persuasive than the first draft. Also, I should write my refutation more persuasively to convince oppoents more. I will do my best.

conclusion

Topic : Internet anonymity should be enforced.

To sum up, internet anonymity should be enforced. I mentioned that after internet anonymity enforced, lots of people will think once again about their comments and as a result, internet bullying will be decreased sharply. Next, internet anonymity can improve national security, and I mentioned an example of North-Korea's cyber attack. Last, as a refutation, some people said that internet anonymity can occur personal information leakage, and invade freedom of expression, however, I think it can be solved by managing themselves and writing comments legally. Cyber space is very very scary place because lots of people freely write their thoughts although their thoughts can damage other people. However, if internet anonymity enforce immediately, people who wrote bad comments can think once again and as a result, internet can be a orderly place and anyone will be damaged by internet bullying.

refutation and concession

Topic : Internet anonymity should be enforced.

1. Opponents position.
Internet anonymity should not be enforced.

2. What arguments I anticipate?
Internet anonymity can occur personal information leakage, and invade freedom of expression.

3. How will I counter these arguments?
Unless you do not act illegal activities, internet anonymity should not invade freedom of expression, and personal information leakage can be solved by managing themselves thoroughly.



Some people said that internet anonymity can invade freedom of expression, and they say internet anonymity should occur personal information leakage. However, I don't think that internet anonymity cannot invade these things. Freedom of expression is still available. We can raise our posts and there is no need to worry about revealing your identity. Your expression is free unless you do not break the law. Also, personal information leakage can be prevented by administrating individuals information carefully. Since much of information leakage are caused by individuals fault, if individuals manage themselves thoroughly, personal information leakage can be hardly happen.

confirmation

Topic : Internet anonymity should be enforced.

First, when internet anonymity enforced in Korea, people are hard to say bad words to other people. If internet anonymity executed in Korea, lots of people can't raise his or her posts or comments badly. Consequently, the number of internet bullying will be decreased and as a result, victims who damaged by internet bulling will be decreased too. Also, According to statistics, 63.1% of teenagers in Korea agreed with internet anonymity. Furthermore, 63% of people experienced internet bullying and among these people, 37% of people responded that when they went through internet bullying, they felt so bad. In addition, 62.7% of teenagers believed that internet anonymity can reduce internet bullying.
Also, internet anonymity can make good internet culture. If internet anonymity enforced, people will think once again before they comment something through internet. Through these process, cyber bullying will decrease sharply and make a orderly internet culture.
Second, Internet anonymity can improve national security. According to YTN news in 2012, North Korea had been attacked South Korea since December 10, 2010. Also, North Korea's cyber attack is steadily intellectualized. According to government announcement, there are 40 thousand spies in South Korea. However, we don't know how many spies are in cyber space.  If government neglect these attacks, South Korea will be collapsed because of cyber attack. To prevent this, internet anonymity should be enforced to filter North Korean spy.

Narration

Internet anonymity should be regulated

Internet anonymity : To reveal his or her name when they raise their posts on the internet.
Netiquette : combination of network and etiquette. It means that there is an etiquette in cyber space.
All I'm saying is in case of Korea.

I already investigated some articles. There is a professor named 이재교, who wrote a column in 2004. In this column, cyber bullying cannot be neglected anymore and the majority of people already agreed about internet anonymity.